memories

i remember playing pretend that it was my birthday when it wasnt.
and i cracked up that it was still the month of may and it was okay to lie.

i remember dancing and jumping around the classroom with my friends.
and we made so many photos that did not turn out pretty one bit.

i remember chucking my clothes in the potted plants and in the shoe rack.
and we had to run out barefoot.ed because our heels slowed our pace.

i remember going for a concert, taking part in it, supposedly.
and i dressed to kill, to make all heads turn and eyes stare and it was fine.

i remember opening the letter and thinking it was something so bad.
and after reading it, my friends made a mock of me because it was something to be proud of.

i remember alot. just not now.
i remember just how much i forgot.

because half the time i am saying, i forgot...

p.s. i want to play in the rain, and the rain is tempting me. thank god it doesnt need me to consume.

who are you kidding, me?

it has been some time since i felt this way, since it came tumbling; my world i mean.
not wholly but yea, it came to a point that i just cried.
cried and cried, slept and woke up and cried.
very rare but it happened....

it must be a challenge.
to say it is one thing.
but to feel it is another.

i had a rough day, by far the worst in the year.
i hardly have downfalls, then again.
and this, i took it so damn hard.

it was like one after another.
no i never understood this when people told me.
guess now i do.

god mend my broken heart.
so that i can pass it on.

p.s. cry baby on the loose yo!

counting 266 pending friend request

can you explain to me who these people are?

hang that.

the umbrella story.

so i was in the car on the way to uni. drizzling lightly and i was contemplating - to valet park or RM2 [which is a walk to uni, under the drizzle]. thinking and playing the waiting game, i took the route towards the RM2 parking. i noticed that the only umbrella in my car was this brown one, yeah, the triumph one. the lacey umbrella was at home. so i was thinking, if i dont want to get wet, i'd need to use the umbrella but it is beyond ugly probably im exaggerating but, it was not to my liking. conclusion and enough of beating around the bush, i valet parked as the drizzle became heavier and i did not want to flash my triumph umbrella, yeah the one you get when you spend RM500 and above on bras and panties. tell me again why do they need to advertise over the umbrella a lingerie brand? and thats why i dont like carrying umbrellas, because i am not made to market anything. then again, screw the rest, the flashing brands on me. point is, i cant take it when lingerie brands are on an umbrella, you get it? i like my lacey umbrella, yeah buy lingerie and a free lingerie umbrella, which looks like a stitched or patch work of panties.

its late, i want to sleep, but something is bothering me and im not happy.

but i pray tomorrow will be a better day!

p.s. i want to dance.

dated: 31.3.2009

i was doing my assignment that night.

he was sitting next to me, flipping through my writing pad when he stumbled upon the draft i wrote; his poem. then i looked, he writing with one hand, covering with another.

who would have thought?

reads:

To My Dearest Mosquito,

After reading the poem, im amazed!

Just felt like a bullet gazed,

Through a puzzle of maze,

And felt like a realive from the haze,

Baby dolphy, when ur angry im panic,

But I know and sure of that ur unique,

Us love for me is never a mimic,

Baby dolphy my mosquito is super sonic!

The good Time we had, like going to the night pasar,

Or being the odd ones in a ramadhan bazaar,

And me always make u GO la la la, in the car,

Not forgeting Yogi B's....sifu banyak besar!

The day I commited myself to you,

The love for you, just grew,

And I want to treat you just like a precious raindew,

Concluding my so call poem...with I LOVE YOU.

Your Love & Original

signed and lipstick kiss

running away and then coming back to the table, he went to my room to lipstick his mouth for a kiss. who would have thought...

his birthday is today.

definitely, 25 years younger!

epac punye bos, yang comel bangat, selamat ulang tahun ya. gua amat cinta dengan leu.

p.s. i love you edwin.

hi world.

from outerspace im back floating in cyberspace and a little part of earth.

settling things and taking one step at a time is often a rush.

dont dig what i say, its nonsense better most of the time.

updates. or so to say

the on goings in my life, happy joyful sad screwed up moments.

sucks to be me, not that nice to be you either!

assignments are pratically every week, the due dates i meant and its not very nice to me.

internet connection is down, running on a thin line of broadband which isn't being fair to me.

the news in our country; not political one bit, along the lines of rape, extortion, murder is scary to me.

knowing that tomorrow i get to sleep in longer than usual is the best thing ever at the moment to me.

to me,... my life doesnt seem like a life.

i only live because i am alive.

a part of me is in the bush, another part floating ten feet under.

suddenly im lost but happy.

happy that i am alive!

p.s. talentime, good movie - must watch, though she owes me big time!!

......

dear thomas sabo,

i finally have a piece of you, special thanks to my cousin joanne and of course my papati edwin. however, you robbed me. but i still love your charms, though i dont adore it one bit because its making the hole in my back side bigger by the month. nonetheless, i like it very much and i will continue to grow what i have of you, smarty pants.

love,

trying to be a smart consumer but definitely not a fashion victim.