no letting go?

sitting in red panties and a pink top, my cheeks are stained.
trying to enjoy my manggo loh.

it is unfair.
i am hurt.
can you give me an answer?
at least one.

because no one knows, no one understands, no one cares.
no one knows me like you do.

p.s. thank god tomorrow is friday.

i smell anger.

simply because happy doesnt not jive with smell.
nah, dont ask.

i drank a bowl of chicken soup.
after a very longgg time, ah, i made it myself.

my due dates are 13,16, and 18 november.
do you know i cant wait?
bet you didnt.

and 17 and 20 december is going to be havoc.
do you know i cant wait?
bet you didnt.

p.s. i am going to be happy, happier than you. :P

no fair?
i know.
who said it was anyway?

when we learn to let go, we cling on. me?

i heard take a bow on radio.
and it brought me some memories.
funny i must say.

and learning is a progression on its on.
i learn not to blame myself.
i learn to understand that i was not the cause of it.

i learn. will learn. still learning.

p.s. car kaput, battery it seems.

waiting to be fetched to uni.
on a day when i thought i could be early, get a nice seat, yade yade..

baby, you love me?

babeh, we look pretty. :)

click to enlarge and then fall in love with the D300

me and my heart, still have issues.

un.re.solved

how do i 'try' and think of happy moments when you blasted me with a bomb at the end?
it comes down to this, i cant get over it, not you.
and i cry thinking of it - shit i've got feelings?
that i just discovered?
*curtain falls*

i take the blame, because God gave me his heart.
and you?

p.s. not what you think, people. -_-

a week just flew by.

the last blog post was on tuesday.
let me do a little contradiction.

i love tuesdays! :)
i get to wake up late because class is at 1pm. [when there is no assignment due that is]
and the next best thing is to see friends in uni.

again it seems gloomy but i went for a hair wash yesterday and i look pretty today.
not that i dont look pretty without the hair do [over exposure of narcism], but it just makes me feel more.. you know lah!

while many people have utilized the blog.o.sphere to rant about things such as the country, i stick to my sick ramblings and nothing else.

oh and maybe a little promotion..
i went for the M.A.C.C - 1st E.G.M. [in short]
ah...in long, malaysian association of chinese comedians - 1st easy going meeting.
while many only went for it once, i went for it twice!
it was very much entertaining and i so enjoyed it.

firstly, i am a sucker for comedians.
secondly, i am easily amused.
thirdly, i cant control my laugh.

and it was great! =) on both times.
the three comics were great, no less.
and if you missed it, your lost. -_-

p.s. my nails are atomic orange now. [happy la, duh] who said?

gloomy

i hate tuesdays.
it is back to school.
and i cant get the hang of it.

maybe i am just becoming depressed because i have been online for a wee bit now.
okay off to school.

p.s. when love knocks you down, you knock it out.

procrastinate. is that how you spell it?

freak.
it is 12 already.
i wasted half my day on nothing.
i want to start on my assignment.
somehow, i just cant.
i am confused.

i hate this feeling.
i wish it was dead.

shit.

her concert is 'post.poned'

mmmm, i like the use of that word.
or lets just say cancelled lah.

alright, bought the ticket and was pretty deng excited about it.
did you know 'malaysia' was not part of her tour in her website?
interesting isn't it?

yearp, rumor says.. beyonce's concert is cancelled.
i like rumors.

p.s. on the road, i saw two friends.

is God trying to tell me something?

its not a black monday.

i hated mondays.
back to school.
up early.
nothing goes right, co-incidently.

but now.
i love mondays.
it is just an extended weekend.

i am happy today.
i hope it stays for a little while longer.

p.s. and guess what..

me and my heart still have issues, and i swear i dont know if i should hate you or miss you.

and life is great, even with or without you.

noticeable? i love songs. i like how i link it. -_-

but hey, i miss you.
HAHAHAHAH!
gotcha.

sleepy. lazy. tired.

it has been some time since i blog.ed pictures.
somehow i feel words do everything, from explaining to feeling.
and pictures, are just an add-on.

its sunday night.
2005 and now, i have changed alot.
mmm, me with braces and now.
viola.

i am full.
i hate the way you are.
i am greedy.
i want to eat again.
i am sleepy.
i dont want to sleep.
i am worried.
i dont want to think about it.

p.s. can you just let go? and then i will.

when picture speaks a thousand words, i shut up.

i love this.

nothing about framing, compostion, rule of thirds, blah!

its about the girl in it.

narcissistic? na.

john and jack

and i would do this again, and again.

did we say goodbye yet?

i was looking through the thousand over pictures on my facebook.
and it really made me smile for a moment, giggled because i clearly remember a few moments.

whats sad though is that picture can never be taken the same way again.
the smile can never last.

life goes on like i tell everyone who ask.
i dont seem to understand a lot of things.
i am at a point that....wait i dont even know what point.

i guess im just upset.

p.s. friends, i hope they stay.

i have grown up

i have learnt not to fuss about what has happened but instead just continue with the day and make it the best.

i tried to make the light work in my room, it is still not working.
stress. i need light.

i realised something - i hate silence, i hate darkness.

somehow, silence creeps me, even though it is golden and bla, it creeps.

i need a break, im going to have one.
off to PD.

please love.

im bloody pist off at myself!

alright, i do my laundry. and guess what, in two weeks, i screwed up two t shirts! :S
flip ham and chicken la.

so pist off...

food for thought.

every other day, if not every..i think of WHY IT HAPPENED.
and one big part of me knows that if there was one thing in my life that i have not let go and hold grudge against, it'd be this thing i think about every other day, if not every.

assignments keep me busy.
friends keep me acompany.
i keep myself sane.

and it will be break. cut.

the first.sucks

i just handed in my assignment. and who better to tell than you?
while a sigh of relieve is there, that assignment is done and over with.
there is a pang in the heart, the first time handing in my assignment late.

that sucks. being in uni for almost three years now, i cant believe what i did.
why am i slowly becoming the person i am not?
or maybe i cant count this in...

i hate history. it creeps me.

p.s. done! and unhappy. but smiling.

any consolation?

i have good friends who are 'willing' to pass me the pictures i passed them.
another one would be the house pc is fixed and pictures (not all, but everything except this year) is still in it. :P

quite a crappy morning because time management is an issue every other idiot would have to irritate me with.
stress.

and i hope my day picks up from here.
because i is 'fuming'.

yuck, that didnt sound me.

p.s. i think i am going for beyonce's. (;

done? nopes.

okay and here we go again.
one after another.
first black dog, then white,. and then brown..
if you get what i mean.

i happen to love life.

dog=assignment!
now you understand, dontcha?

alright i have been having some weird sick dreams.
scary...

somehow there is no inspiration to write, and im sick of everything..
done?

see let me tell you a story.
there were two friends, standing and playing with matches.
and little did they know that there were some "you know things on the ground"
so playing with matches, one of them dropped it on the ground.
the place caught fire, and she ran away, leaving the other friend alone, burning.
and thats the story of my life.
i am the victim. i am not sure why. i have to embrace reality, that sucks to be precise!

p.s. i need a massage. help anyone?

when all is said and done.

i need a massage.
i need a retail therapy.

i want to sleep.
i want to club.
i want to sing.
i want to dance.

i have to finish JE presentation.
i have to finish IMC media forum.
i have to finish JE case study.

life of irene.
done?

i dont feel secured, at all.

a lot has been going on.
to name the most interesting part would be the word begining with the alphabet 'A'.
i am sick and tired of sitting here, and not having a life.
but i am happy i still have a life, still a socialite, to me at least.

i rubbed my eye, i forgot i drew them.

suddenly i dont know how to trust you.
i am losing it, all of me.

looking at you, or rather what is painted on, i dont feel secured.
if you dont know what i am talking about, RE: relationship matters.

how do i trust when i see the liar in your eye?
how do i believe when you are hiding everything from me?

you told me that you don't know them, precisely my point.
why do you still have them?

ah im blabbering. correct?

i lost my laptop.
how, when, why, where, is not important.
i lost everything, my life.

how i remember life is when i sit and scroll through my pictures. PICTURES!
dated 2005 and onwards,... i have lost all means of remembering happy moments.
though this blog has been running ever since, of which there are more prose than pictures. i am sad - i lost my almost 50,000 pictures.

but with everything else running in my life, i have forgotten that part.

today i bought a t-shirt.
it says, "TODAY I'M SAD" =/

p.s. i think i am prone to 'all types' of break ups.

i recall, you do not have it in you, you learn it.
you learn how to move on.
i do NOT have it in me, the motive to move on.
i learnt it.