i know, there is nothing i cannot do in the one who strenghtens me.

i have this habit, ... i type and backspace.

there is just so much to talk about and none at the same time. i choked on my prayer last night. i couldnt say much, and it aches me to know what a good pretender i am. i only wish i could be myself again, not that i am not but maybe not completely on the extreme either. what am i rambling on about.

it is hard to believe, sometimes i feel like i am losing my faith. but god has his ways of showing me, that even though everything is like shit right now, he is still around, making things go right where possible. i often thought that i had a perfect life. and my idea of perfect was simple. great family, good friends, fair results and just a happy life. i wish i could give up all the things i wanted to just have this something i need back. oh yes, i really knew how to differentiate my needs, wants and demands.

this year has been a trying year. half a year has gone. it scares me that i have grown. maybe the last time i remember having a good look at myself.., i was carrying my kurung skirt and running across the street laughing and screaming with my friends. carefree. now i am thinking, in a matter of months i will need to find a job. a JOB? lets not fly there, just yet.

life feels mundane. i wonder why do i sit here and rant about this. when in fact i should thank god for everything he has given me. for little things... and big things, and all the things.

i remember a prayer...and along the lines it reads, and let me never lose my god

p.s. excuse us, life and i aren't friends anymore.

hair, again

my hair has been a real nuisance. today, i spent 10 minutes combing my hair in the morning. [note: miracle. as you know, i dont. -_- ]

trying to untanggle the nots, it was unbelievable. i was so rough until sakit kepala. i also betahan. and again, my hair was falling like never before. :(

i need to do a few things to my hair. 1) trim it. 2) treat it.

and no nonsense of perming, colouring, for now that is. :) aha, a nice reason to get pampered. tomorrow sounds free. WA KA KA KA!

sunday.

today's sermon moved me. somehow i really want to break all the barriers that's stopping me from loving. and freedom, is freedom on its own. in the end, it is my choice and how i would like my life to be.

now,iwanttogokaka =/

did i tell you?

that half my hair on my head came out after the party on the 8th?
yeap, the gao gao hair spray and the drunkerdness made it worst.

half hour washing hair with shampoo and conditioner, still notted up.
running my fingers through my hair when it was dry, a few bundles came out.

freak the shit.
note to self: dont over.do it, even if its your night. :p

so the long black hair, i is dont like it anymore.
can you suggest, what i should do with it.
and even the blue black dye is fading. -_-
somebody tell me.
jackham, the stylist will tell me, "darling, you're so beautiful dont perm your hair. your natural waves are very nice, just leave it like this" *say it apek style with slang*
thank you, and no thank you.
i need suggestions...

sick child.

the flu bug is here.
and i still ate fried chicken, drank cold water and stayed up late.

we fight with it, not be pussy whipped. 0.O

its the weekend.
what an achievement.
slept at 5 am, woke up at 12 pm, slept at 2 pm, woke up at 5 pm. -_-

p.s. will update how the week flew by. stay tuned.

it doesnt cost, rolling cheap.

reasonS for me to stay home..

1. 90210, season 2
2. gossip girl, season 3
3. star bright by catherine anderson

p.s. i am back to series and books. hip hip hooora! (:

i learnt, ...never say never

i watched karate kid over the weekend. good movie i must say. but a few elements that were overboard in the movie; the culture of bullying and the kissing scene. watching it from a 12 year-old's p.o.v that is. fantastic watch on the whole. especially loved the part when dre had to hang, drop and wear his jacket over and over again. from teaching him a lesson, i realised there was more than just that. and the part when mr. han said bring your jacket, from the place that you hid it. along those lines....

on another note, i have my whole week practically filled with things to do. yes, everything that requires money. and more money.

__________________________________________________________

...so every last day of the semester, we do something. last semester we dined at fridays, the semester before that we went partying in kl. this semester, we went for japanese and sing k.ing. karaoke in redbox, that is. oh and i love being a student for it only cost us rm10 to sing for two and a half hours which was more than enough. we even had two drinks, to quench our thirst from singing slash shouting. my darling friends saw the best in me, singing out of tune, singing loudly into the mic, dancing to songs, singing with emotions. gah, good times! :) thank you girls for a very good time. we should sing k soon enough. for now... bye bye bye bye bye!

p.s. i am the chiquitita. ;)

hold on.

i need to get a grip. i am losing it.

p.s. can we go out?

aching.

the facade is running low on battery.
i cannot do this anymore.

life is unfair. and even if it was fair, it wouldn't be perfect.

no?

my facebook reads...

you have 485 friend requests
you have 124 other requets
you have 43 pokes

now clearly i do not bother checking or clearing
tonight after a long time, i decided to look at some of the groups i've been invited too.
so must say, i joined a group.
generally i wake up after only hitting the snooze button a few times
true that.

p.s. i like how we say, "i love you" but "i dont loveeeeee you".

almost done

handed in my 3 major final assignments.

a media law paper to sit for and...

i am done with semester 5.

amazing how time flies.

i sealed my assignments with a kiss and a prayer, and hope for the best results. :)

girls, please pray for me. 

xx

..just sometimes you can make it on your own

day: thursday
location: taylor's lakeside campus
arrival: 9am
departure: 9am

i was in school for 12 hours. i felt like an international student. =/ no, really.

and now, i need to get back to my assignment.
its my new found love btw. (:

chilis with the girls.

my faithful friends/readers/fei-T's/apu/beng/girls.
a note to say...last night was fun, fun, and fun
we should do it again.

and one big 21st celebration, for the girls who are 21 and who are about to turn 21.
ok?

before i forget...
1) michelle my bell, dont tear apart that polaroid picture of you.
2) marcia anne-hairy hand, please scan the pictures you have, since i dont have it.
3) andrea leong-smells like keong, i want the pictures in your camera!

okthanksbye

happy pill, please.

i dont know how i can have so much of faith in God yet doubt him at the same time.
i dont understand a lot of things about myself.
maybe its time i go for a walkabout.

p.s. my pulse.

i learn..

that the attempt to love is love itself

iwillbestill

come on irene.

less than a week to complete 2 assigments, major assignments that determines my grade, a credit or a distinction. i cant wait for this dog chase to be over. right now, stupid dog bit my ass. :(

selamat kembali

come back to moi, people.

3 friends home.
3 friends to come home.

complete. (: for the next few months.
and it is not that bad after all.

p.s. mitch bitch, i miss you, your face, your attitude, you being mitch bitch. :D
reunion is tomorrow, finally.

why why why?

this happiness dont last.
but i am happy i even felt that way.

yea, i am done with one assignment.
two assignments and one exam to go.

kantoi bah.

...and just sometimes

you cant make it on your own

damnation

sunday night.

a new week begins.
can i see a smile please.

today i walk in socks and slippers.

walking into the library is like walking into freezer.
fingers. feet. ears. nose. - COLD. NUMB.

i came prepared today.
socks. sweater. scarf [towel, some would call it]

P.S. MY HEART.

secretly.

today happened.

and god has his ways of showing me that he is here.

today happened.

and i never thought in my life that it would.

...

i laughed though. i did.
thanks to friends that try to make me happy.
tomorrow will be a better day. they call it hope.

i believe

no, i want to believe that..

love conquers all things

finals.

party people.
listen up.

updates on the happenings for the month of JUNE

8th june 2010 - Public Relations II: Assignment 3
14th june 2010 - News Design for Print and Web: Assignment 3 & Creative Industries and Ethics: Assignment 3
18th june 2010 - Media Law Exam

cheers drunkards and drunkees.

lets blog happy.

"Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... Isn't it wonderful now?"

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

allergic to beer.

last night, even with my un.sober mind i told myself that i have class the next day and i needed to set the alarm. so if class is at eight, and i need to be in old school at seven thirty for car pool, i need to set my alarm for seven so that i can snooze it three times, wake up at seven fifteen, rush but still be late. this is the standard timing and thing.

all i did was press the left button on my phone when the alarm rang the first time, which just shut the whole snoozing thing and left me asleep. a call at seven thirty and then i realised, oh shit i am late. i was suppose to meet them at seven thirty, give and take the few minutes.

so i rush rush rush. and i realised, oh shit my lip is bengkak again. fcuk.

i realised, i actually need granny to wake me up. :(

this is where i realise how i used to take things for granted and think so highly of myself - that i wont shut the snooze but continue snoozing it.

you dig? when the alarm rings, you have two options, snooze it or shut it.

in life, you also have two options, give up or hang lose.